Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The King of Wuxi takes himself off the ideological spectrum.

The King of Wuxi, the third really, truly, serious candidate left in the 2008 U.S.A. presidential race, announced he is hoping people trying to classify his beliefs would take him off the political spectrum altogether. 

Said the King of Wuxi, from his campaign headquarters in Wuxi, China:  "Let the world know!  Shout it to all from the highest of mountains to the deepest of valleys.  Tell everyone whether they work in the coal pits of Pennsylvania or the social welfare agencies of Massachusetts; whether they are surfing in the Atlantic or Pacific ocean; whether they like the designated hitter rule or not; whether they be Jew, Christian, Muslim, Gentile or Agnostic.  Rouse them from whatever they are doing whether they are working, whether they are collecting welfare, whether they are golfing or playing video games; whether they are watching TV or fornicating!  Regardless of the color of their skin or the number of limbs they have or haven't got,  you must tell them!  Tell them that I am a trans-ideological facilitator of benevolence.  Tell them that they want the facilitator of their existence to be their president!  Tell them that the facilitator of their existence is me!  Tell them to vote for 0Drummond in 2008! So don't be calling me a fascist or a communist or a anarchist or an authoritarian!"

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