Thursday, May 29, 2008

The King of Wuxi promises to tattoo his policy announcements on his body. His campaign manager calls it the dawning of a new era of political integrity.

Has the King of Wuxi, China Expatdom raised the bar for honesty in electioneering?  The staff who are working on the 0Drummond for President 2008 campaign would have you believe so.  Said Deloris Morris, head of the 0Drummond 0Ate Campaign:  The King of Wuxi is currently tattooing all the promises he has made in this campaign so far on his gorgeous body.  So when he is elected King, the voters can hold him accountable for the promises he made during this campaign.  Other campaigns have published policy books that they say you can refer to and check off.  But you can burn books and the politicians know that the average voter has too short an attention span and lacks the administrative ability to have a book at his side to check off when a legislator does this and does that.  No, those sort of things are gimmicks that get votes while at the same time counting on the voter to forget.  Now, the King of Wuxi does not want you to forget the promises he has made.  That is why he is willing to uglify his otherwise beautiful body he has with tattoos.  Just think if you want to know what he said about infrastructure, you can look at his buttocks.  What did he say about healthcare?  You can consult his groin area.  What will he do about Iraq?  You can read his knuckles.  What will he do about education?  You can read the crown of his head.  Now I can already hear the critics saying:  He can grow hair to cover up his broken promises.  Well, I can say this:  The King will shave his body everyday on national TV when at the same time he fulfills his promise to change his underwear.  So I say now, we can look forward to a third sub-section of the population wearing tattoos.  Until now, sailors and bikers wore tattoos.  Along with these esteemed groups, we can now add politicians.  Yes!  This marks the dawning of the Age of Political Integrity!

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