Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Late Wednesday Headlines from AKIC FOX News

The Family is away.  What will AKIC do?
I am going to wander round the apartment in my underwear, drink pineapple beer, and listen to right wing talk radio on the big screen t.v. (into which I can stick my USB drive full of podcasts).  I will also catch up on my reading - I hope to finish Ulysses by James Joyce, the four books of Moses, and the Iliad.
My brief trip to Beixing (not Beijing)
I spent about seven hours on the bus today so I could be in Beixing for about an hour.  I had to accompany my wife and the child on the trip so I could carry their luggage. 
The first stage of the trip saw us spend forty minutes on the local transit to get to the bus station that is close to Baoli (not the bus station near the train station). 
At this secondary bus station, we waited fifteen minutes in the sweltering heat of the non a/c-ed waiting hall.  When our bus finally came, we couldn't get on because it was broken down.  All passengers were loaded on a bus that was going to Taixing, near Beixing.  There wasn't a spare bus.  Arguments ensued over seats between the passengers going to Taixing and the passengers going to Beixing.  Near Taixing, we had to change buses.  Earlier, we witnessed an exchange of words between the driver and other passengers forced to get off because of the earlier break down. 
We were about an hour late getting to Beixing which was fine because it meant a hour I didn't have to stay there.  I had feared the we would arrive so late to Beixing that I would miss the only afternoon bus going from there to Wuxi.
Beixing, at high noon, was hot like you wouldn't believe.  The concrete and the sun, being directly overhead, made poor Tony wet like he had been swimming.  My wife told me tonight that he spent the afternoon playing with water.  Smart Boy.
Four hours later I was back home.  On the bus, I read an issue of National Review cover-to-cover.  Thanks Maralin...
Things I saw from the bus:  There is a new stadium in Jiangyin.  You see it as you approach the big suspension bridge.  I also saw the aftermath of a bike colliding with a motorized tricycle.  I could see a man sitting beside the bike, clutching a bleeding ankle.
Dinner with Maralin and Joe
I have these vague memories of going to TGIF on Tuesday evening with Jenny and Tony to meet Maralin and Joe Fritz.  What I do remember is taking long walks with Tony who didn't care to sit in the restaurant which I though had a nice comfortable decor (There is a poster of the album by the Clash, London Calling for example.).  Tony is just in that stage where one of his parents can't eat when we go to a restaurant.  The food, when I could sit down, was standard high-end hamburger restaurant fare.  Not bad if you don't have it so often, and  my cravings for Western food are satisfied for now.  Maralin, being much too kind, brought some Wheaties and an issue of National Review for me, some clothes and books for Tony, and some early-reader books which I hope I can give to some of the young summer students at my school.  My wife gave Maralin a pearl bracelet.  I gave Maralin a copy of a pamphlet published in 1972 about women in the New China, chocked full of quotes from Chairman Mao.
After TGIF, we went to a Chongnan Market fish pond where you can feed the fish with a baby bottle.  The privelege to do this will set you back 10 rmb.  But it is worth it to feel the sucking power of the fish on the bottle (which is attached to the end of a stick).  We let Tony try to feed the fish, but he preferred to beat the fish and water with the stick.  He seemed to feel the fish were trying to steal his stick.
More KoW Stream-of-Thought Prose
Back by popular demand, the feature that lets the reader live in the mind of the King of Wuxi, the lame duck God .  You will also get to read stream-of-thought prose featuring Wuxi Tony, Yours truly, Wuxi Sexpat, and others.  Today, you can see what the King of Wuxi is thinking as he takes his dog Blackburn for a morning walk:
Hot Dog!  Hot Dog!  Hot Diggedy Dog!  Hot Dog! Hot Dog!  Hot Diggedy Dog!  Hot Dog!  Hot Dog!  Hot Blackburn Dog!  You will be delicious for breakfast this morning!  No! No!  Can't say!  Bad Dog King of Wuxi!  No. I mean:  Bad King of Wuxi. No eating dogs.  Don't think of it.  Think of something else.  Sing another food song!  Alligator Pie, Crocodile Cake, If I don't get some, I think I will escape.  I'll die, I'll die, if I don't get some alligator pie.  That won't do.  That is Andis's favorite food song.  What about this?  When the moon's in the sky like a big pizza pie....  No!   That is so such a cliche now.  Can't say that.  Oh yes!  Here is one I like.  Bacon, Ham, Cheese, and Soup!  Eat them together, you'll have a good poop!  If you can't eat it all, that's okay!  'Cause I can eat the rest later today!  Oh Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!  Got to stop dancing when you think that.  The workers are looking at you funny!  But I will give them a big hug.  That always throws them off.  Then I pat them all over.  Some to seem to like it.  This guy doesn't...  Andis fires me as God!  The nerve!  How to get him back?  Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm whattodowhattodowhattodo?  I know.  I will ask him this question:  Some like to say that there are no atheists in foxholes.  How come they never say there are no foxholes in atheists?  hmmm?  That question would stop Aquinas and C.S. Lewis in their tracks. I am sure of it.  Peace, Order, and Good Government:  Canadian motto. My motto?  Pizza, oerderves, and baloney sandwiches.  Oh Yeah!  That "Oh Yeah" is pregnant with thought and significance.  Great minds can think so much with so little.  So little words!  You got to add that.  Oh Oh!  I am wet!  What content to put my site?  Limericks, religious essays, pornography?  How could he make Kaviar the new King of Wuxi!  NOOOOOO!!!  What doesn't he join Kowlism.  There is only one god and the King of Wuxi is his prophet.  A simple doctrine for the simple people.  I should have used that in my politico days.  I should say I am for gay marriage.  Only problem is Andis will say that when we were going out together, I wasn't for gay marriage.  I should just not say anything....

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