Thursday, April 30, 2009

Tony and the stool.

Being a parent to Tony, is like fighting the Vietnam War, a noble undertaking done with one arm tied behind your back, and no one gives you any credit for doing the right thing. Try to make your son into a man, try to make your son honorable, try to make your son know the difference between right and wrong, try to get your son to behave, and lord knows what crimes modernity sees you to be committing. You're better to teach him masturbation, use a condom, to be blind to the faults of people except those whose ancestors worshipped Jesus, and sing kumba ya. That, in a nut shell, is the moral dilemma of our times as I see it.

Anyway, that has nothing really to do with my story of Tony and the stool. It stared two days when Tony sat on the bar stool in our kitchen. Placing him on a stool, I noticed, he was well-behaved and stationary. That is, he stood in one place. When it is supper time, Jenny has a hard time feeding Tony as he becomes elusive, moving to and fro to avoid the spoon or fork. So, I had a bright idea, the first I had in a decade or, so I thought. Placing Tony on this shorter stool we have was an excellent way to get Tony to sit still and eat his supper. For two days the wife was in heaven. But then Tony figured out how to get down from the stool. Fear had been keeping him up there. So, now I am going to have tie or chain him down to get him to eat.

Looking at Tony undress, I realized that sexy legs run in the Kaulins family. If you don't believe this self-evident truth, I will take a video of my legs in which you won't miss a single hair.

After three or four months of glorious, astonishing, incredible, and well-earned increases in the numbers for this blog, I have suddenly and inexorably hit a plateau. Why am I going to do to get the numbers to increase yet again? I suppose I could talk about masturbation, using condoms, singing kumba ya in Chinese, and the illustrated exploits of Wuxi Sexpats.

Wuxi Tony Update 324: Way Cool! - Watch more Funny Videos

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