Thursday, October 1, 2009

Tony interviews his Dad

I will be away from blogging, possibly till October 7.  I will leave you rare readers with some big morsels to chew on.
Tony and Andis discuss a myriad of topics:

Tony:  Am I a good boy?  You always say I am, but do you really mean it?

Andis:  Overall, you are a good boy.  There are times when your interests conflict with ours.  You are doing what you think is right.  You don't know any better.

Tony:  Tell me about your religious beliefs?

Andis:  I want to be a Roman Catholic.  But I haven't talked to your mother about it.  And if it can be proven that the Resurrection didn't happen, I would convert to Judaism.  Right now, I haven't the courage to do either of these things.

Tony:  Will you make me go to Church?

Andis:  Good question.  I have thought of it, but I have shirked answering it.  Go ask you Mom.  No. Wait.  I will ask your mom....  One day.

Tony:  What advice do you have for me?

Andis:  Don't believe the bullshit.  Beware that a lot of bullshit will come your way.  Life is easy if you do what you got to do.  You need money?  Think of a ways that will make people part with their money.  Don't expect money to come to you.  It won't.  I don't have the money to give you.  So get a skill that is in demand.

Tony:  How would you like me to be?

Andis:  I want you to be different from everyone else.  That is, I don't want you to be a product of the times.  I want you to be beyond it.  Also, don't be lazy.

Tony:  Do you love Mom?

Andis:  Of course.

Tony:  Why?

Andis:  She is your mother.  She hitched herself to my star.  She has sad eyes kind of like Bette Davis.

Tony:  What are your political beliefs?

Andis:  Obama and his ilk suck.  As for principles, the less government the better.  We can only hope to lessen the folly on this earth.  We can never hope to eliminate it.  The fact of the folly gets Obama his votes and ultimately dashes our foolishly made hopes.  Slot me in with the conservatives and libertarians.

Tony:  seems pessimistic.

Andis:  You have to have a sense of mirth.

Tony:  Can I have a dog?

Andis:  No.  Not in the apartment.

Tony:  Why do you take so many videos of me?

Andis:  It is for your grandparents in Canada.  They don't see enough of you.  Am I becoming the annoying showoff of a parent?  Of course.  Still, you do have a few admirers.  I have found that having even one is a joyous thing.

Tony:  What do you hope to accomplish with your blog?

Andis:  I don't know.  I suppose I want to get more and more readers.  But when I do, what of it?  I suppose I should try to get to some goal and quit.  I suppose I should tried to get paid for it.  Or maybe I should use the blog to find a few kindred souls.

Tony:  Who is the King of Wuxi?

Andis:  Wuxi's version of Don Quixote.  It is the best way to describe him without being offensive.

Tony:  Why do you call him that?

Andis:  When you know him as I do, and understand the joke behind the title, you will understand that it is really a crown of thorns.

Tony:  Do you want your blog to make you friends of enemies?

Andis:  I would like a few good friends out of it but mostly universal animosity.

Tony:  Seems a silly thing to say.

Andis:  Yes and no.  In life, you must learn that indifference is the worst thing.

Tony:  Do you like solitude?

Andis:  I have learned to tolerate it.  But it is like you and your mother to me.  I can't live with you and I can't live without you.

Tony:  Is being with me a 100 percent joy?

Andis:  Of course not.  I would say it is ten percent joy.  But the 90 percent of toil makes the joyful moments worthwhile.  You have to work for your pleasures my son!

Tony:  What book should I read?

Andis:  Do you mean book(s)?  I would say the Bible but you need other books to help understand it better.

Tony:  Okay, I say book(s). sssss!

Andis:  Alright that's better son!  The Bible, The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire, Anything by Evelyn Waugh, Most things by George Orwell, Orthodoxy by GK Chesterton, among others.  Actually, read the books I have now.

Tony:  Do you want me to be athletic?

Andis:  I want you to be a combination of brains and brawn.  But don't try to be an athlete.

Tony:  Would you be happy if I became a plumber?

Andis:  Of course.

Tony:  Should I live in Canada or China?

Andis:  Both.  Or better yet, America, Israel or Switzerland.

Tony:  Do you want to ask me some questions?

Andis:  Sure.

Tony:  Go ahead.

Andis:  What?

Tony:  Go Ahead.

Andis:  What go ahead?

Tony:  What?

Andis:  Hey! I thought you said I could ask the questions.

Tony:  Well.  Go ahead!

Andis:  What?

Tony:  I don't know.

Andis:  Good.  Do you want to go to hockey games with me?

Tony:  What is hockey?

Andis:  Hey!  I ask the questions.

Tony:  You are making me cry!  I am telling mom!

Andis: Okay.  My first question:  Do you love me?

Tony:  Yes.

Andis:  Why?

Tony:  Because you are the greates!t! Dad!

Andis:  No more questions.

Tony:  Nice talking to ya!