I suppose you have to endure some things to appreciate those pleasant moments in life. I suppose also that maybe pleasant things happen after you weather the unpleasant things. Case in point, yesterday at Casa Kaulins. My wife was on my case. I won't get into the details but I have to say she was right to get on my case. (And I do have to thank God that I have been able to get someone on my case -- for so long, I have been self-supervised and I was wont to always give myself the benefit of a doubt. I did try to make things tough on myself but never excruciatingly so.) Sometimes, though, her criticism is unfair, but I try my best to let it be -- she has to look after Tony by herself -- most Chinese wives have a mother-in-law to help them. So, I don't blame her for having a short fuse. (In the first year of our marriage, I yelled back at a her. Boy, did we have some scenes. I wondered if the marriage would last.) Sometimes, I can't answer criticism because she has me dead to rights -- I screwed up and acted selfishly. Yesterday, I was silent for both reasons, but mostly because I couldn't answer the valid criticisms. Last night, I was in bed, lying beside Tony, after a bout of criticism from my wife. I held Tony's hand as I fell asleep. When he did, I took to reading and listening to some podcasts (Chesterton from EWTN). Jenny came into the bedroom, and looked at me intently. She asked if I was mad at her. I said I wasn't but I fely fear of being chided again. She then said she was sorry for being mad at me, but she loved me and wanted me to act better.
Great moment. I am not alone.
And as Chesterton said somewhere, to love something is to want to reform it.
I am Canadian. I have lived in Wuxi, China since September 2004. I teach English. In this blog, I recount the things I have seen and the experiences I have had here in Wuxi. I also make comments on things that strike my reactionary fancy.