Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Instead of devaluing a currency why not change its name?

As a Canadian, I can tell you that confusion can result from the name of a currency.  Canada's currency happens to have the same name as that of our great neighbours to the south, the Americans -- both countries have dollars.  And because of this Canadians read too much into the value of our dollar not being exactly one to one with the American.  When our dollar was equal to 60 American cents (.6 of a USD), you should have heard the whining.  At the time, I suppose there was reason to whine because the change in value did mean that there were changes taking place in our respective economies which did affect some people adversely.  But often these changes benefit everyone in the long run (e.g. like computers replacing older technologies).  But if our dollar was always equal to 60 American cents which would indicate a kind of stability -- Canadians would still complain. Why isn't our dollar equal to their dollar?  Wa! Wa! Wa!
I say these confusions and the unnecessary esteem issues would be lessened if we changed the name of our currency.  I would call it the beaver.  A USD equals two Canadian Beavers.  I'd feel prouder to be a Canadian being able to hear that, as would most of my fellow countrymen.
I would like to add that currency name changing should be a tool of every central banker's monetary policy.  In cases where governments feel pressure to devalue their currency, I would advocate that they first rename their currency. Now, of course in the case of many European countries, who are stuck with a common currency, I would first advocate doing a feminist name change.  Where women can call themselves Chris Evert-Lloyd, Countries like Spain could have a Conquistador-Euro or a Dago-Euro. The Italians could have a Wop-Euro.  The French could have the Bastard-Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkey-Euro.  The Germans could have a Wiener-Schenetz-Euro.  Now if the Euro goes into the toilet like many seem to think, these countries could  adopt my suggestion without the "Euro", or find a name for a currency to top mine.  I bet they can't! 

For other countries, I know, that already have their own currency here are some more suggestions:  Russia: the Borkov or the MiHaiDollarhov; China: The Confucius or the Haoqian; Japan: The Yamamoto;  Australia: the Kangaroo or the GulaGulaguladollar; Poland: the Poundski; England: the Akhbar;  Mexico: the Yanquidollar; and Ukraine: the Perogy.  And the brilliant thing about my scheme is that you can change the name all the time if you get bored of it.

And why restrict my idea to changing Currency names?  Why not change the names of Countries?  Nothing wrong with a little re-branding.  Spain could become "Sectasy"; Ireland could become "Cheerland"; Greece could become "Lubrication";  Italy could become "Wetaly"; and Portugal could become "Portuguy".

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