5:17 AM View

 

I got through the first day, but by 4:00 PM, I was pooped.  I went home, eat some food, did some laundry, and at 6:00 PM, I had a nap.  10:00 PM, I then awoke.  I was awake in bed till about 1:00 AM.  I woke up before the  5:00 AM alarm.

8:04 AM View

 This view is from my classroom desk.

5:27 AM View

 Rainy day as I return to work.

Am I ready?  No.

7:16 AM View

 Last day of recovery; tomorrow, back to work.

Today, I get ready as best I can.

Am I ready? No.

What am I expecting?  Indifference. Maybe some welcome.  Maybe some animosity.  Hopefully , I can be calm.  Hopefully, my low energy level keeps me placid.

Listened to some good philosophy podcasts yesterday featuring Mark Millerman.

11:38 AM View

 It’s hard to stay concentrated on what I’m doing when I lesson plan, or look at schemes of work or read textbooks.  My mind wanders.  I wish I was a writer.  

The following is what I wrote during a flight of fancy from what I supposed to be doing:

What have I changed my mind about?

The election of Trump and the Covid nonsense have changed my mind about a lot of things.  Here is a list of things I changed my mind about:

Trump.  I initially found the Trump candidacy abhorrent.  Not I support him till his drama plays out.

Russia.  As a Latvian, I hated the Russians.  Now, I feel sympathetic towards them.

The Iraqi War.  At the time, I supported it.  Now, I realize it was a big mistake.

American foreign policy.  It was always hard for me to have a definitive opinion on it.  At best, I thought it was dammed if you do and damned if you don’t for the USA because it did possess a lot of power.  Now, I believe it is a Global American Empire with an irrational need to keep its military industrial complex going.

Ronald Reagan.  He was a domestic disaster ultimately for America.  He started the illegal immigrant phase and didn’t control the federal government’s domestic spending.

Latvia joining the EU.  Big mistake.  It needed to find a middle path between Russian and EU hegemony.

Republicans.  Worse than useless.

China.  Not so evil.  More concerned for its citizens than the governments of Canada and the USA and the EU are for theirs.

Conspiracy theories.  They are now worth consideration.  It’s hard to accept otherwise that the controlling elites are so stupid.

The Jews.  I was a judophile.  Now, I’m wary of them though I love their sense of humor.  

Racism.  The racism that anti-racists talk about doesn’t exist in a significant way.  If anything, racism is tribalism, and there are good racisms and bad racisms.  Bad racisms are genocidal.  That doesn’t exist in America or the Anglo sphere.

5:37 AM View

 Second last day of my medical leave.  I learned, from my wife, that the doctors wanted me to stay in the hospital longer, but that I was getting restless.

I’ll spend the last two days, poring over schemes of work and textbooks.  I’m dreading the amount of work that I’m going to have to do to catch up on everything.

The doctors told my wife that I had to be a tough son of a bitch to take so long to get to the hospital with my burst appendix.  I thought for an instance that yeah, I was a man with a high pain tolerance.  I did go out for dinner with my appendicitis, after all; and I told my wife the pain was merely discomfort.  And I did endure the discomfort of a hernia for a few months. And I have been enduring stomach pains for years.  And I had been operating with a sore heel for a few months.  But I don’t want to be a braggart.

To counter my pain tolerance, which maybe might be true, I have to confess that I’m no stoic, but in fact, am an overly sentimental man.  I cried when I thought of how my health troubles had so inconvenienced my wife Jenny and my son Tony.  I choked up when I recalled how on another vacation, my father died.  I choked up as well when I had to tell my boss at work what had happened and had to request leave.

I also have to confess to always feeling guilty.  Recovering, as I have been advised by others that I should do, I can’t help but feel I’m shirking.

5:49 AM View

 That light being on in the left is causing glare and ruining my early morning views.

As I said yesterday, no going to work yet.  I don’t think I’m ready to stand so long and I do think my stomach is not ready.  I ate meat for dinner yesterday and got noticeable stomach discomfort.

Trump voters are a dangerous cult they say and yet:

Most Trump supporters don’t go for the climate change nonsense.

No Trump supporter thinks boys and men playing girls sports is a good idea.

No Trump supporter thinks Biden is a functioning and honest executive.

No Trump supporter asks you for your pronouns.

No Trump supporter thinks the 2020 election was on the up and up.

No Trump supporter thinks pedophilia is a good thing.

No Trump supporter is as bigoted as a member of the TDS cult. (An actual cult btw.)

Trump supporters will take the measure of a person by the content of his character and/or his abilities.

Trump supporters don’t think endless wars by the GAE is a good idea.

Trump supporters can think of positive reasons to support Trump unlike Biden supporters who couldn’t not mention Trump as a reason to support Biden.

Trump supporters have their priorities straight.

No Trump supporter would use racism as an excuse for their incompetence.

Trump supporters are normal everyday people.

Trump supporters don’t think using the law to persecute political opponents is a good idea.

Trump supporters aren’t blatant hypocrites.  Navalny and Gonzo Lira.

Trump supporters don’t believe in the existence of ridiculous phantoms like far-right, systemic racism, white supremacy and Christian nationalism,

So, why is it that Trump supporters are the dangerous cult?

5:56 PM View

 I’ve been talked out of returning to work tomorrow.

I did go for a walk today.  It was nice though I wish I could have run into people with whom I could talk. ( trying not to end a sentence with a preposition) Here’s a video link:

https://youtube.com/shorts/V9nGA1G5fXs?si=gRUw3gs8xjaJpLVZ

I’ve discovered the Shaun Newman Podcast from Alberta. Canada.  I’ll hop in with the large listener base it must surely have.

9:44 AM View

 

I’m hoping I can go for a walk today.  I need to give my body a test run.

I’ve been advised by my wife and colleagues to hold off going back to school.  I need to slowly transition myself back into standing all the time.

We had visitors last evening. I ate a lot and subsequently had a tummy ache.  I ate too many nuts and meat,

I am on day 1491 of my Duolingo streak. I study French, Spanish and Mandarin Chinese.

I almost finished reading Hunter S. Thompson’s Rum Diary.  It’s well written but what is the point of it?

A Wuxi vlogger was making comments on my YouTube.  I watched one of his videos on teaching English in China, Wuxi, in fact, that I made comments on his teach video.  Here is the link;  

https://youtu.be/E0iPVeDDcHQ?si=cM6LzNa4YeGaricx

I wonder how the trucker boycott of New York is doing. I’ve heard mention of  it from Alex Jones and Catturd, but little else.  It would be nice to see NYC suffer more than it already has.  It’s justice system has gone full Soviet

9:30 AM

 Hopefully, I’m chronicling my recovery instead of my dying.

My son Tony says I should shave my beard because it makes me look really old.

8:25 AM View

 Saturday it is.

I think I’ll go to work on Monday.  I’ll have to tough it out.

I haven’t been to a shop since early February,  This realization crossed my mind last night.

I woke up this morning in a cold sweat.  Why would that be?  Stress?  Excessive heat and blankets in the bedroom?

The Other AKIC Blog

 wuxiandis.wordpress.com

6:46 AM View

 It was snowing in Jiangyin yesterday so Tony got to leave school early.  Meanwhile, Jenny drove back to Wuxi to get some things.  I was relieved when she arrived back here last evening.

How am I feeling?  My stomach still has that “I was punched in the gut three weeks ago” feeling.  After I eat, the digestion process is painful, so I have to be careful what I eat.  Maybe Lentern practices are being imposed on me,

10:00 AM View

 My first night spent in Jiangyin in over a month.

I welcomed Tony when he got home from school last night.  I then made he sure he got up and got off to school this morning.

I hope I can be fit to go back to work by Monday.  Right now (Thursday), my stomach is not right.  I feel pain there after eating.

Big idea:  sum is greater than the whole of its parts.

Another big idea:  education and school overlap but aren’t the same thing.

5:37 PM View

 I’m back in Jiangyin to continue my recovery.

10:36 AM View

 What a difference 24 hours make.

I had a comfortable bed on which to sleep.  I feel better in that maybe my sleep pattern will be normal again.

However, the stomach is still not right.  Still feel discomfort, still not plumbing properly.

This morning, we pack; this afternoon, we go to Jiangyin where Tony is back to school.

2:40 PM View

 

I’m out of the hospital; back at the new Wuxi apartment.

From the hospital, we drove to a hair salon so I could look a little less rustic.  

Having accomplished that and gotten home, I am in bed again.  I felt tired, the abdomen feels like someone punched it very hard three weeks ago.

10:30 AM View

 The final view from the hospital room.

Final Hospital Jottings

 Final Hospital Notes

In less than Twenty Four hours, I’ll be discharged.  It will have been sixteen days spent in hospital.  

Now, I’m watching a sack drip.

I had my substantial poop this morning.  I’ll spare you the details.

During my stay, I spent a lot of time on my phone:  books, YouTube, Feedly, Universalis app, prayed the rosary, X, blogging, WeChat, Instagram, Facebook, Hallow App, the Catholic Thing app, a crossword app, Duolingo app, Substack app — I think that’s everything.

Will I have missed anything during my stay?

Discharge Eve Wrist

 

7:40 AM View

 Looks like a morning rush hour view.

Jenny & Tony go to Jiangyin today, the 19th. Tony starts school on the 20th 

I get out of hospital tomorrow.  Knock on wood.  Jenny will then have  to come back tomorrow and get me out to Jiangyin.

6:00 PM

 The first place I’ll go after I get out of the hospital is the hair salon to trim the beard and coif.  I may go for a full shave it all off or I may go for a neatening.

1:05 PM View

 Sunday afternoon.

Two weeks ago today, I entered the hospital.

They tell me I’ll get out in a couple days.  I’ll be late to get back to school and teach and grade.

I have a tube in my arm.  I watch fluid drip from a bag.  When it stops dripping, I press a red button to summon a nurse.

What’s it all about this life?  What’s important?

8:40 AM View

 Sunday.  Are the regular doctors coming back?

It’s hard to sleep here at night.  I actually tried sleeping on the couch on which my wife and or son had been sleeping.

Speaking of my wife and son, they probably won’t be with me today.  Tony’s got to ready to go back to school.

12:24 PM View

 The view from the hospital room.

I’ll be here for a few days more.  I’m not completely recovered.  I can pee but I can’t poo much.

I’ll be here by myself for a few days because Jenny has to take Tony to Jiangyin to start the new term.

The school has told me that I can the time I need to recover.

I watched the 1951 film Royal Wedding.  A musical starring Fred Astaire.  Two Broadway performers take their show to London while it’s preparing for a Royal Wedding, and the performers get close to marrying as well.  An enchanting film, full of harmless entertainment.  A film that couldn’t be made today.

Hospital Notes #3

Hospital Notes #3

The worst time for me in this hospital stay, is the nights.  My sleep patterns are all screwed up.  I sleep in the afternoon and agonizingly ponder, at night how to fall asleep.  At night I try counting but I can’t do it.  I get to about ten and my mind fills with other thoughts.  I wish these thoughts were solving a problem like Einstein dealing with a physics problem.  But my mind is occupied merely minutiae.

I pass the time on my phone which surely is contributing to my sleep problems.  I spend time reading ebooks I have on my phone, listening to music I have stored on my phone, looking at X, reading articles on Feedly, using prayer apps and watching YouTube videos.

On YouTube, I’ve watched Marshal McLuhan videos, video of 1969 and 1970 US college football games, and rock videos.  McLuhan is hard to understand.  Still, he had wise things to say on a lot of topics.  But it’s hard to pin down his framework of thought, to put him in a nutshell.  I think like Chesterton, he saw the paradoxes of existence.  For instance, he talked about how the new mediums used nostalgia.  For example, on YouTube, I watch old 60s and 70s NFL highlights.  I can’t be bothered to watch any highlights from the 80s and beyond.  

The 1969 and 1970 broadcast videos of Texas against Arkansas and Arkansas against Mississippi were fascinating to watch.  The equipment the players wore was different than you would see today: maybe not high tech or over elaborate, but still classic in design.  The uniforms the players wear today are gawdy and ugly in comparison.  The shots of the spectators show them dressed in a civilized manner.  There were no images of sixty year old adult children wearing the jersey of their favorite player like you would see today.  

I watched old footage of this band MC5 performing at a college field near a freeway.  The band rocked with fabulous gestures that would put current generations of bands to shame.  But their performance ultimately was barbaric.  The cultural rot was there so many years ago.

12:14 PM View

 This is the view from my hospital room.

My status is up in the air.  The regular doctors will be back tomorrow to make some decision. 

5:57 AM View

 This is the view from the corridor near my hospital room,

I want to get out of here today!

Hospital Notes #2

Will the experience of having been in the hospital change me in a meaningful way?  I suppose it goes without saying that I hope so.  

I hope the changes are for the better; that I can be humble, considerate, gentle, patient, thankful, self aware, courageous, less given to cries of resentment, more able to take what life gives me in stride, be able to use the hospital time as a way of sanctifying myself in the eyes of God.  

I don’t want to be bitter or jealous about what happened.  Others were having a great holiday while I was stuck in the hospital and I could lament it; but it would be very selfish of me to expect the world to go into mourning because I was indisposed and couldn’t enjoy my holiday.  Life has to go on even if people are sick or in the hospital.

I have a lot to be grateful for by the mere fact that I was in the hospital.  What happened to me could have killed me if I didn’t get the proper medical attention.  Thank God I had insurance.  I was tended to by a lot of nurses and doctors, and my wife and son.

Jenny & Tony give me many reasons to be grateful.  My wife Jenny was stellar during my ordeal.  In fact in some ways, it was more of an ordeal for her than me.  My son has hopefully matured by the experience.

I have realized that I am very lucky given my selfish, isolated ways.  How I got Jenny to want to marry me, and then put up with me is an inexplicable miracle, for as a figure in this world, I am nothing.  I am an ineffectual waif.  I perhaps have become more religious and a Jesus freak because I am a loser in this world.  So be it.  I don’t need to put on airs.  I don’t need to always be marketing myself.

The needles, the pain, the having to endure will perhaps make me more courageous.  However, there are two types of courage for me to work to improve.  One is the courage of dealing with physical pain; the other is the courage of being able to express dissident opinion.  The former surely improved with this hospital experience.  Although the pain of passing gas was hard to deal with. The latter strangely is one that most scares me.  Sometimes, you have to question bullshit openly and not be silent.

So can I realistically expect change?  So often I have had moments that i thought i was a new Andis who would give up his past bad habits.  But sure as shit it didn’t happen 

3:23 PM

 Cross my fingers, I’ll be out of the hospital tomorrow.

I really need a shave and haircut.

Hospital Notes

Hospital Notes

February 14:  still in hospital.  Most of the infection from the burst appendix has gone away, but a CT scan revealed there is still an obstruction 

Being in a hospital for over a week is like being in the economy section of a commercial airplane on  a never ending flight.  You’re confined to your bed and can’t find a comfortable position in which to repose.  Your only option is to walk the corridors.  And you’re completely confined when you got to use the toilet as well because of the tubes attached to your body.

Because I couldn’t drink, I was so desperate for moisture in my mouth that I ran the tap in the bathroom, and stuck my mouth under it like it was a public fountain on a hot summer day.  I tried to gargle and then spit the water out.

Needles don’t phase me; gas discharges through my anus turn me into a coward.

I watched the Putin Tucker interview.  Interestingly to me, my son was also interested in it.  I thought Putin came off well in the interview.  I couldn’t imagine any current western leader say: Biden, Trudeau, Boris Johnson, Gavin Newsome or Trump conducting an interview in such a thoughtful and considered way.  Be that as it may, Putin didn’t talk about the Holodomor… And maybe some of his history didn’t jive.  Putin did say he had no ambitions vis-à-vis the Baltic states.  Do I believe this?  Yes.  For years he has been harping about Ukraine.  In a book of interviews he had conducted with Oliver Stone, I did a word search and found maybe one reference to the Baltic states; word search Ukraine and you could see he was obsessed.

I’m waiting for my plumbing to go back to normal.  Progress is being made.  It’s becoming a little less painful to take a dump.

Of course, I’ve been listening to a lot of podcasts.  One about AI, with Whitney Webb, was food for thought.  AI could be a tool for thought control for the powers that want to be.  Conspiratorial?  Who knows?  I don’t.  I’m a guy who listens to podcasts.

I’ve been exploring Catholic apps on my phone.  The Catholic Thing app is an absolute trove of wisdom and consolation for me.  Its daily columns are sensible.  Its collection of past Catholic poetry and thought pieces will now become a daily source of inspiration for me.  I consult the Universalis app for liturgical calendar updates.  The Hallow app, which I had downloaded a while ago and just tried, is good as well for praying the rosary and silent contemplating.

I came close to ending my Duolingo streak but didn’t give up.  Onward to 1500 days!

To battle boredom and because I need exercise, I have been walking the corridors of my hospital floor.  I would pray the rosary to pass the time because I set a goal of walking twenty minutes and even longer on my excursion.  I eventually borrowed my wife Jenny’s earbuds so I could listen to music.  The music had me walking for longer stretches.

I have had two visitors.  My colleague buddy from Kenya and a fellow Canadian expat who has married a local woman.  Now, I appreciate very much their taking the time to see me, but I really need some sort of companion in Christ and Catholicism.  If it is not physically possible to meet these kind of people, I pray that there is a rare reader out there who can help me with my quest for Christ..,

Pray the Rosary

 Screen-grabbed this image from the Hallow app:  

https://hallow.app.link/M3MYvn938Gb

Happy Chinese New Year!

Happy Year of the Dragon to anyone who reads this blog.  I do this blog in hopes of establishing relationships with people in similar situations to mine or people who share/have my desire to be Catholic or Reactionary about existence. I wish to you, if you’re receiving me, the best everyday as you prepare your soul for what really matters.

But I have to be honest, I suspect that this blog is keeping me occupied and that I really don’t have any readers.

 I’m still in the hospital.  Hopefully, I am close to recovery.

2:11 PM View

 

This is the view from my hospital bed.

Looking forward to the Tucker Putin interview.

I look more forward to getting out of this place.

1:55 PM

 I’m at the hospital because of the appendicitis.

I waited too long to have it looked at,

Happy Birthday Honey!

 After posting the previous entry I was reminded that it’s my wife’s birthday today. — and on Facebook of all places.

I feel more like a useless schrump than I did before.

4:45 PM View

 Tomorrow.  Hospital.

I keep my posting daily as much as I can.