Who was the source for wookieleaks, the top secret cables of Chewbacca to Han Solo, that have changed all we know about the narrative of the Star Wars saga and forced intelligence services all around the galaxy to change their ways?
The founder of wookieleaks, Julie Andrews, is familiar to everybody, because he has the same name as the woman who even more people know as having starred in the famous and wonderful (if you like kids) musical The Sound of Music. Julie hated the movies because he was a constant source of ridicule so that everyone would sing "The hills are alive..." at him while stepping on his head. In revenge, he vowed to do the movie industry in one day under the guise that he was saving citizens from being brainwashed by films. Initial attempts he made, to prove that the makers of The Sound of Music were part of George Bush's 9/11 conspiracy, were unsuccessful.
wookieleaks was a big failure till a disgruntled hairy woman named Rebecca Manning, tired of being nicknamed Chewbacca Womanning decided to give so-called secret cables, about Star Wars, to Andrews. Andrews thinking they were a means of ridiculing Ronald Reagan in turn gave them to the New York Times who in turn thought they could use them to besmirch the memory of Reagan. Having not read the cables, they didn't realize that they were blowing the lid of a previously secret love relationship between the partners of the Millennium Falcon.
Julie Andrews is now in jail in England, waiting extradition charges from Swedish authorities, who are taking seriously allegations that he conned two lesbians into having sex with him by claiming he was a woman.
Rebecca Manning is living in her parent's basement and feeling really bad about her hairiness.