Sunday, July 18, 2010

A scene from an expat bar

This is an excerpt from the story "From the Bar to the Yalu River", soon to be published at an outlet near you.

List of Characters
Dom Deluise, the King of Wuxi Expatdom
Wuxi Sexpat and Wuxi Sexpat 2
Orwell, a friend of Dom Deluise
An Australian, owns a pub

Scene 1

A Wuxi Expat Bar (Orwell, by himself, sits at one table, among many)

Wuxi Sexpat:  Look at my beautiful body!
Wuxi Sexpat 2:  If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
Bargirl bats her eyes
Bargirl (aside):  Ai ya!  These fools! These pigs!
American 1:  ...So I says to them  Chairman Who!  Who is the Chairman?  Hardy Hardy Har Har!
English Teacher:  I watched the latest Tarantino movie.  It was quite sublime.
AnotherEnglish Teacher:  Of course!
Another English Teacher:  Undeniably!
Yet Another English Teacher:  Indubably!
Yet Yet Another English Teacher:  Gorily Wonderful!
An Australian:  How are you doing you bloody bastard!
Orwell:  Fine!
An Australian:  Is All Right English all right these days!
Orwell:  Yeah!  We are getting a new teacher ……..
An Australian (interrupts):  Oh look!  It is Dom Deluise!  How are you doing Oh Domsy Womsy!  Are you still the King of Wuxi?
Dom Deluise  (wearing a blue cocktail dress):  I am alright.  Evidentally, I forget to do my laundry! 
An Australian:  That's okay!  We love you!  And we will love you more!  (He pinches Dom's bottom)
Dom:  Okay!  I got to go.  See you later.
An Australian:  Okay!  The river is dirty!
Dom:  Right!  (he steps over two Wuxi Sexpats trying to look up a barmaid's skirt).

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