Questions about raising twins.

I just taught a student who I learned had twin sons, both about three years old.  Having to spend a hour with this father, I had to think about the practical aspects of raising of twins like I had never done before.  I immediately realized the daunting dauntingness of the task and I had many questions:

• If you buy your twins toys, do you have to buy two of the same toy each time?
• How does breast-feeding twins work?  Do you use "both" at the same time?  Or should I say do you feed them both at the same time?  Do the mother-in-laws maybe help in this?  Is there anything the Dad can do?  What if Dad is fat and has "them"?  Could he help then?
• How do you tell your twins apart?  I asked my student about this and he told me he cut their hair differently.  I had assumed that he would have put a scar on one of the twin's faces or would have each branded differently.
• At why age can you begin to train twins to use fire arms?  I suppose when they are two, there is a chance one would shot the other when they have a quarrel.  I suppose four years old would still be too young.  From what I have seen of my Tony, a child's aim at four is not steady yet.
• What are the sleeping arrangements?  Do the twins both sleep with mother and father?  Does maybe one twin sleep with Dad in one bed while the other twin sleeps with Mom in another bed?  Does Dad end up sleeping alone in on the couch?  Do the twins sleep alone with each other?
• And what happens if the father believes in arranged marriage?  It must make thing harder.
• And what about clothes?  Are the twins wearing their own underwear always or are they sharing? 
• And for that matter, toothbrushes?
• And what happens if both twins grow up to be degenerates or mountebanks?  From my experience here in Wuxi, I have seen many a sad sack who can't control his drinking or his passion, can't come to work on time, or has at best a "union work" ethic or a "do as little as possible" ethic.  To have twins like this would be a great shame.
• Can twins ever be fat?  If you one twin sees that the other is fat, one can help but be motivated to put one's selves back into shape.  I mean I imagine I would be, if I were a twin, but then look at my point about twins being degenerates and creeps.  There is no limit to human depravity.
• Should I say "If I were a twin", "If I was twins", or "If I were twins"?