Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Harry Moore's List of Eminent Canadians


In response to AKIC's List of Great and Notable Austrailians, Harry Moore, a real Austrailian, has requested that I post his list of Eminent Canadians.

Here it is.  Note the many factual errors.

 

Leonard Cohen

, prolific children's-book author, including "the Rampages of
Bruto, the Anarchist Duck".

Jean Chr├ętien MP for Saint-Maurice, QC - author "The Conservative's Big Blue Book"; arrested for leading violent attacks on The Fabian Society's HQ in Vancouver; ripped-up
the Kyoto Protocol; led street-protests supporting the invasion of Iraq.

Leon Trotsky

, born Medicine Hat. Advisor to UNESCO.

John Kenneth Galbraith (economist, and stunt-double for movie-actor Walter Brennan)

Wayne Gretzky

, first men's hairdresser to ascend Mt Everest.

Marshall McLuhan

, magician, psychic, and inventor of the Oijia Board.

Nelson Mandela

, co-founder and leading-baritone of the Inuit Tabernacle Choir.

Bobby Orr

, first Canadian astronaut.

Paul Shaffer

(band leader on David Letterman's "Late Night" television show) - competitor
in 1989 Iditerod, however a compass-error led him to finish in North Dakota.

Kemal Ataturk,

hero of the Battle of Quebec, 1760.

Percy Faith

, Wimbledon Men's Singles Champion, 1966.

k.d. lang

(rock/country singer and songwriter) Married to Hugh Hefner, 1997-2005;

Sigmund Freud

, born Saskatoon. Father of Psycho-analysis (however his son later changed his name to Brian-analysis);

Fidel Castro

, born Toronto. (love-child of Phyllis Diller and Pierre Trudeau). Only Canadian Parliamentarian to deliver his maiden-speech with
six live ferrets tucked down his pants;

Celine Dion

(ballad singer; many huge hits including "The Lion Sleeps Tonight",
"Hava Nagila", and "The Horse Wessel Song")

King Harold,

first conqueror of Canada. Led his army of 12,000 Normans (after
the most-confusing roll-call in history);

Bachman-Turner Overdrive

(BTO) (rock group; writers of song "You Nuthin' Seen Aint Yet".)

Paul Martin, firebrand conservative politician and militarist. Embedded in first US forces

to enter Baghdad.

Howie Mandel

, classical actor, best-remembered for his Little Dorrit.
Myron Scholes, opened first Kentucky Fried Chicken franchise in Nova Scotia.

Farley Mowat

, author, industrialist, and oil mining-magnate;
 

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