Monday, August 16, 2010

AKIC's List of Notable Canadians

Gordon Light Feet.  Canada's first openly gay folk singer is hated in his native land because CRTC regulations force him to be over-played.  His famous song is The Sinking of the Titanic by Edmund Fitziceberg

The Deservedly Unhip  This band has tried to pass itself off as authentically Canadian

Bobby Eitherr  This great Boston Bruins defence man won the Art Ross trophy.

Brian Muldoom  Last leader of the Progressive Conservatives to have enjoyed a bout of popularity.

Pamela's Andersons  They defected to the United States as any decent humane people would.

Doug Tommy  This fool made Canada's Health Care System Communistic.

Preston Bronson  The leader of the Reform Party made me almost proud to be Canadian

Maggie Trudeau  Unlike her ex-husband, she wasn't totally  irredeemable.

Ronald McDonald  Before he was tragically killed in a car accident, he started the famous restaurant chain that bears his name.

Crispy Creme  This openly gay NHL player, also had a donut restaurant chain named after him.

Tim Rothman's  Many Canadians smoke the brand of cigarettes named after this old Maple Leafs defence man.

Tommy Predator  This punk music star had a show on CBC in the seventies.

The Mahovolich Brothers  Ted, Jack, and Rob had successful and sometimes aborted political careers.

Hender Paulson  He broke Communist Russian hearts (Commies have hearts!?!) with his miracle last rock shot against them in a bonspiel held in Moscow in 1972.

Mackenzie Queen  PM famous for having talked to his dead mother via a wiggy board.  He is still considered the most sensible Prime Minister we ever had.

Joe Hoo  For a brief time in the late 1970s,  Canada had a PM of Chinese descent.

Bobby Hall  He wasn't much of a hockey player but  the throat candy named after him can be purchased in China.

Marshall Tito  This famous Canadian philosopher coined the phrase "you can get a massage in a medium-security prison".

Rich Small  Was famous in Russia for his Joe Stalin imitations.

Alex Trebek  He made a name for himself hosting the show "Let's Make a Deal!"

Monty Hall  The host of "The Price is Right" got in a fight in the film Happy Gilmour.

Duddy Kravitz  Wrote the Apprenticeship of Mordecai Richler and the Stone Angel.
Jack Candy  Who will ever forget his performance, as a shower curtain salesman, in Helicopters, Mag Lifts, and Taxis?
Instellar Overdrive  Their song "Looking After Business" was a big international smash hit.
Marshall Petain  This speedy right-winger lead to the Canadiens to multiple Stanley Cup victories in the 1970s.
William Lion King Mackenzie  Disney made an animated motion picture about this Canadian Prime Minister's life.
Ronald A McDonald  was Canada's first ever Prime Minister and an Alcoholic to boot

Johnny Doo invented the Ski Doo.
Ben Jonson This Elizabethian writer was disgraced at the 1988 Olympics when he was caught stealing stereos.
Dr. Who  The Canadian most known by Brits after Chairman Churchill wrote a glowing tribute to him.
Big Mountain  This full-blooded Cree Indian has an enormous following in China because of his excellent Mandarin Speaking abilities.
Marcel Dionne  This former L.A. King and Detroit Red Wing sang the theme song for the movie Titanic.
Sammuel De Newfoundland discovered Newfoundland.
Austin Powers  was a star of Wayne's World.
Cohen Leonard  wrote in Flander's Field.  Paul Newman played the lead role in the movie about his life.
Alexander Graham Ringtone  invented the telephone
Steve Nash invented basketball.
James Naismith was the first black Canadian to ever be the NBA MVP.

Donalde Framboise Many Anglo Lefties thought this outspoken French hockey commentator was a fan of Charles De Gualle.

Richard "The Rocket" Morris  The first ever NHLer to score fifty goals in a season.  Historians say that the riot following his expulsion from the Beatles was an awakening for Quebec Nationalism.

Piers Turdeau  This Sci Fi Canadian PM make Canada officially Bisexual.

Jean Cretin Allende:  This Prime Minister from Shawnigan was deposed after a coup lead by Pinochet Martin.

"Boom Boom" Jefferson  Canada's greatest ever porn star made a racy video with Samantha's Andersons.

April Latrine  With the defection of Pamela's Andersons, this pop star became Canada's local dish.

Lorne Gunsmoke  Lead Singer of the Punk Band Gang Greene, and later founder of Greene War -- a radical anti-environmentalist sect.

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