Stupid Me. Un-PC Tony

One morning, I went to find the shoes that I had worn the night before on my way home.  I was startled to see that there was one blue Kalenji brand sneaker (right foot) and one black Kalenji brand sneaker (left foot) by the apartment door.  My hopes of finding the other blue and black shoes of the pairs were quickly dashed.

What were my hopes?  Why was I hoping?  I had hoped that I hadn't worn this mis-matched pair of shoes on my way home from work.  I had been hoping that this Laowei hadn't been a ridiculous looking sight as I sat on the crowded subway.  

How is it that I was wearing mis-matched shoes?  At work, I wear dress shoes when I teach my classes.  At the end of my shift, I take the dress shoes off and change into my sneakers.  I leave the dress shoes at work because I don't want to expose them to the wear and tear of my long commute home which includes a twenty minute walk.  I also have a pair of blue sneakers that i keep at work and wear during my children's classes.  So the night before, I had hurriedly changed shoes and not paid attention to their colours.  And I didn't notice the mismatch on the entire forty minute commute back home. *

A funny thing really.

The next morning, reading the Book of Disquiet by Fernando Pessoa I came upon a passage where he wrote about great mathematicians making mistakes doing small sums.  Good to now that smart people can do stupid things too, I thought.  Nice to come upon this passage after my evening of humiliation, I further pondered.

*I didn't feel the sneakers were different because they were the same model of shoe but different colour.  There is only one model of shoe that I can get in Wuxi in my size (47).

* * * *

I downloaded the film Expendables 2 for Tony to watch on my computer.  He had read that Chuck Norris was in the film and so he wanted to see it.

He didn't know that the film had many other action film stars in it like Sylvester Stallone, Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

When he saw Schwarzenegger, Tony asked me who it was.

"That's Arnold Schwarzenegger." I said.

"Arnold Schwarzen*gger?" he responded. (the "*" replaces and "i")

"Jesus no, Tony! Schwarzenegger!  SCHWARZENEGGER!!"

Tony then put on a mishcievious smile and said "Schwarzen*gger!"

Oh well.  Kids will be kids.

Tony learned the n* word from watching Blazing Saddles.

Ling Shan Buddha: the Tourist Trap from Hell

It was my misfortune to go to the Ling Shan Big Buddha during the October holiday.  It wasn't my idea.  It was either my wife's or my in-laws.  A week before, I learned from my wife that we were to go and so I was able to become resigned to my fate, as much as I could.

The Ling Shan Buddha was built in the 1990s.  It is about as authentically placed as a giant Hindu statue park in the Inter Lake region of Manitoba, Canada.  The Buddha was clearly built to bring in Tourists.  And judging by the signs of the crowds I saw on my latest visit to it, it is a still successful racket.

I can thank God (or the Buddha) that my in-laws are early risers.  We were able to avoid traffic jams going to the park.  When we left the park later the roads we had gone down had become so packed that I could no longer recognize them.

There wasn't much to do at the park but look at Buddhist iconography and statues, observe typical Chinese tourists, jostle among crowds and look at the all hawkers selling food and trinkets.

I saw some Monks at the pseudo-shrines and the manner of at least one of them lead me to question their authenticity or sanctity.  One young monk definitely looked like he had shaved his head for an October holiday gig.  He sat with the posture of a bored store clerk as he clutched his smartphone.  

The tourists were for the most part dressed casually in jeans, shorts and t-shirts. (For whatever reason, a young man wearing a t-shirt saying "I'm just t-shirt" stuck in my mind).  Their children ate confections like they were at an amusement park.  When the tourists weren't walking, they were sitting about, looking at their smart phones.  A few did do some prostrations at various shrines but lord knows for what they were praying.  Money, a bigger house and a nicer car, perhaps?

The most annoying aspect of the day was entering the area below the pavilion where one could touch the feet of the Big Buddha.  One came upon a room that was crowded as possibly could be.  Looking at it, my first instinct was to turn around and seek another way to get to the Buddha's feet.  I even told my wife Jenny that I didn't recall (this was my fourth or fifth visit to the Buddha park) having to go this way to get to it.  But she insisted that we had to go through this room to get to an elevator that would take us to the pavilion.  Because the room we had to get through was so crowded and I was so clueless, the way the people were standing in the room seemed so inexplicable to me:  they were facing every possible direction.  I even thought that some of the people in the room were trying to get out but were prevented by the rush of people trying to enter.  But then the crowd was able to advance forward and I saw that the room contained these queuing barriers that required people to wind through a back-and-forth maze to get through the room.  Twenty minutes after we entered this room, we were at the base of the Buddha looking at his feet.  Having, as I said, been there before, we spent three minutes looking around before deciding to go back down.  Big whoop-de-do!

To exit the park, one has to go through a kilometer path lined with hawkers trying to sell souvenirs.  If this wasn't blatantly tourist-trappy, then I wouldn't know what would be.

A spiritual experience, not.

Sitting on the Wuxi Metro, Watching a Video of Eleven

Sitting on the Wuxi Metro, I was, on my way home from my place of employ.

It is my current habit, as I sit on the train going home, to listen to a podcast on my now eight year old Ipod and look at the people around me.  Sometimes, something on the Train's video screens catch my eye.

One such thing was a video of Chairman Xi (Eleven) visiting/inspecting a factory full of groups of enthusiastic workers, clapping in unison (like delegates at a party conference) eager to get a glimspe of him or to shake his hand.  At the end of the adulation, Xi was shown to be speaking to the assembled groups, telling them some wisdom that only he, as Chairman presumably, possessed.  Looking around the train, I had the feeling I was the only one watching the video.  The other passengers were looking at their smartphones.

It was such crude, typical, unimaginative Communist propoganda, that one could understand why no one was watching it. But yet, that one could be lead to believe Eleven did fashion himself as being as "great" a Chairman as Mao.

Tony at the Ling Shan Big Buddha

Wuxi, China Ants #1

Ling Shan Big Buddha

A tourist trap if there ever was one.

It wasn't my idea to go here.