An excuse to do the inexcusable.

Go pound sand, or better yet, mud.

Hope you have a dandily delicious dinner full of dazzle and dynamism 

How do you cook razzle dazzle? Do you broil it? Do you shallow fry it? Do you get steamed and then spank it?

If you don’t mind, I am going to rest my legs.

Did you have the dinner you deserved?

Are you having dinner or is dinner having you?

I’m a meme man.  Very meme.  Don’t mess with me.

My birthday is coming in December.  When I did the math, I suddenly realized that I will, on my next birthday, become the age I already thought I was.  What a relief!  To my way of thinking, I won’t age a year my next birthday.

Are you thinking outside the paradigm?

What are the pronouns I would like others to use to refer to me? I’d never really thought about it, because it’s a stupid question!

I told a person who said that an image was I posted was blurry that this was because he was drunk.  Then I used  my other WeChat id to tell myself he had a point.

There is a point to taking the more scenic route as opposed to the most direct route.

I was astounded by the magnificence of something someone had posted somewhere.

I couldn’t help but notice that your hair is full of vibrancy and bounce.  Could you tell me what brand of shampoo you use? And also, do you use conditioner?

If you don’t mind, I’m going to have a beer.

I wonder what it is like to be five feet tall.

What can I add to the extensive amount of Joe Biden jokes and memes on the Internet?  It is hard to come up with anything original.  And Joe Biden’s dementia must surely be visited by the Muse.