Thoughts had upon returning to Wuxi from Canada

• I gave myself no time to recover from jet lag.  Tuesday evening, I arrived in Wuxi; the next day, I was at work.
• I went to bed about seven p.m. on Tuesday.  I vaguely remembered that my wife had cooked supper for me and I ate it, barely able to keep awake, before quickly returning to bed.  I then woke up in a pitch dark bedroom.  With a sense of panic, I looked around the bedroom for the time.  It was four a.m.
• My mood as I prepared to go to work, and then as I arrived at work, was crummy.   Wuxi's skies were gray with smog.  Its temperature was bordering on humid and languid.  I wish I was back in Canada.
• On my bus ride to work, I saw that two accidents had happened.
• The differences between Canada and China were like night and day, especially seeing how I had been in both places in the span of four days.   I saw thin Orientals with straw hats sweeping streets or riding their bicycles -- a sight never seen in Canada.  The driving in China was astounding.  The fashions were different.  The woman in China were so thin!!
• Leaving the Airport in Winnipeg, I thought about all the restaurants, with so much tempting food, that I would see along the way to my brother's home.  Leaving Shanghai's Pudong, I thought how there weren't any such temptations.
• I first thought I was going to tell everyone at work that my father had passed away.  But then I told one person, who suggested that he tell the others.  It dawned on me that was a good idea when I was asked the question "How was your vacation?"  It was just too maudlin to tell anyone what had happened. (Oh!  my father died.)
• My first class back was an English Corner.  Three weeks ago, I had chosen the topic of it to be My Trip to Canada.  I had thought to talk about my father, but as I walked into the school, and looked at the students and the other staff, they all appeared cold and indifferent. So, I didn't talk about my father during that English Corner.
• How do the Chinese offer condolences?  I don't know.  So far, none have been offered.  The Chinese staff here probably doesn't know.
• I find myself avoiding conversations because I don't want to talk about my vacation.  I suddenly came to the realization that I don't give a damn if anyone here knows what happened to my father.  
• How long does the mourning last?  How does it affect one long-term and short-term?  I find myself now with an intense dislike of my surroundings.