What kind of old person do I want to be?

I am getting old.  There is getting around it!  So I have to decide what kind of old person I want to be.

The way I see there are only two ways an old person can be.  One way is to be the kind of old persons who dances on tables to impress the younger folks; another is to be the kind that uses shotguns and sardonic humor and wit to terrorize the younger generation.  I hope I can be the latter kind -- it should go without saying.