U.S. Presidential Debate Held In Wuxi, China

The four major U.S. Presidential Candidates, Hilary Clinton, Barak Obama, John McCain and The King of Wuxi participated in an all party debate held at a new furniture mall in the Dongtien district of Wuxi, China.

As you can see from the photo below, the four candidates debated dressed as Cartoon Characters (From Left to Right:  Hilary Clinton, Barak Obama, John McCain and The King of Wuxi).   It was the idea of Deloris Morris, the King of Wuxi’s campaign manager to do this. Said Morris before the debate: “Dressed as cartoon characters, the candidates will be able to present voters their policy proposals minus the screen of superficial identity politics.. The election was turning dangerously into a battle of identity groups with Women against Black people against Old White Men against Expats. I think debating in costumes whether in gorilla suits or as drag queens or as Disney characters will elevate the level of political discussion. It is a way for America to become post-racial and post-gender.”

However the candidates quickly took on the role of their costumes. “During the debate, they said some of the following thing.”

Said Senator Clinton: “I promise you voters that while I will readily admit my husband mouse was a louse, you won’t have to worry about bimbo distractions from me. My experience as the first lady of the Mickey Mouse Club qualifies me to be the next president of the U.S.A.”

Said Candidate Obama: “I am shocked and saddened by the aggressive tactics and deception used in business by my long-time associate Scrooge McDuck but I can no more disown him than I could disown my other long-time associate Elmer Fudd who has was at one time a duck and rabbit hunter. I also want to add that Daffy Duck is a person I have met over the years but we never had a close relationship and I completely disassociate myself from Daffy’s despicable attempts to assassinate bunny rabbits in the fifties and sixties.”

Said Candidate McCain: “I know that fellow members of my party have problems with me passing the carnivore amnesty bill, but at this time our party must unite together.”

Said the King of Wuxi: “Reports of my reviving the Mickey Mouse Club as a paramilitary support arm for my campaign are greatly exaggerated. Every member of the Club has been issued with water pistols or those gag pistols that shot signs. The ears each member have been issued are not radio transmitters for use in any revolutionary uprising as some reactionaries have been suggesting.”