The Chinese concept of Face.

I can't get my head around the Chinese concept of Face.  The Chinese not wanting to lose Face seems counter-productive to me.  For instance, the wife does not want me to mention her illness to anyone because she would lose face.  She even wants me not to say anything to my best friends about it.  This is of course impossible.  It is stressful time for me and to not talk to someone about it would be very hard.  (It is hard enough as it is to not be able to communicate directly with doctors)

This concept has ruined my day today.  I was going to visit my wife at the hospital.  But over the phone, I mentioned the fact that there is a doctor, who can speak English at the Number Two Hospital who was willing to help us.  The doctor sent me a message through Facebook after having read about the trouble we have been having on my blog.  I thought it would be good news to tell my wife but she became angry at the thought that someone knows about her illness.  That she didn't appreciate the fact that this person can help us and give us some needed guanxi angered me.  Now, she does not want me visiting her.